QA005 How Do I Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

Today’s question is….

 

How do I get over being worried about what other people think about Network Marketing and my decision to join a company?

 

ANSWER

 

Boy, can I relate to THIS question. I struggled immensely with this. And, most of it was made up stuff in my own brain and mis-information.

 

Sometimes, when you start a Network Marketing business, you must be willing to accept a temporary loss of Social Status with some people. Oh well!

 

Remember this - other people’s opinions don’t pay the bills! More on this later.

 

I have listened to hundreds of hours of interviews by entrepreneurs, outside of network marketing and do you know most of them have gone through the exact same thing?

 

When they wanted to buck the corporate system and take the entrepreneurial path, they got huge resistance from parents, family members, friends and those who wanted to “protect them” from themselves.

 

Think of Robert Kyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. He’s “poor dad” or biological father told him to go to school, work hard, get a good education and get a good job with benefits. His rich dad, the father of a good friend was an entrepreneur and encouraged him to chart his own course.

 

He choose to be an entrepreneur and was met with huge resistance.

 

Derek Halpern, of Social Triggers shares the story of charting his own course, and starting an entertainment blog, which was not perceived as “worthy” by his parents, and others. He made $25,000 his first month and $20,000 the second month and his mom asked -

 

When are you going to get a real job? And, he listened and took a corporate job paying $50,000 a year. So he traded what he had made in essentially 2 months for a cubicle and the same pay for 12 months!

 

Yikes! Needless to say, he didn’t stick with that.

 

Adam Braun, a hugely successful, but more obscure entrepreneur shares the story of grabbing a steak off the plate of a junior partner in a consulting group he had just joined, when she didn’t eat it and the waiter was taking it away. It was a large corporate dinner.

 

Needless to say, the entire dinner group stopped and listened when she asked - DID you just take my steak?

 

What he learned from that lesson is - go for what you want, and show others that you are your own person, confident and self assured.

 

If you don’t have enemies, you haven’t stood for something.

 

Asking for permission is asking for denial.

 

Who are you asking for permission from? Often, when people ask if it’s MLM, they are just waiting for your reaction. To see how you really feel about it!

 

We worry about being judged by other people, but here is the deal. Even if someone passes judgement on you and your decision, it doesn’t last very long. People don’t about it every time they see you, unless you give them a reason to.

 

 

We also tend to make things up about why people don’t like Network Marketing or why they tell us no. We assume they won’t be interested and so on.

 

My negative blueprint stems from My first experience was as a 12-13 year old, when my Uncle joined Amway and talked to my family about it. I was not around for the conversation but what I remember is my mom, his sister and their other sister, not having a lot of positive to say about it.

 

What I made up in my mind is that it is bad. Don't know why, but join a Network Marketing company and your family will talk about you.

 

Now, interestingly, I contacted my mom a few weeks back to ask about that whole experience and why they were so negative about it. Here was her response.

 

"It's not that I was negative about Amway or that business model, I just know that I am afraid of sales, know that I would never be good at it and I don't like people pushing their products on me, so I could never do that."

 

Hmmm. That gave some perspective. First, wow, what we can make up as a kid with only pieces of the story.

 

Second, her perception is that she was having products pushed on her, or would have to do the same. So, either my uncle was too salesy or my mom just made up her own scenario because she wasn't interested and couldn't just say - no thanks, good luck.

 

Now, I do know it to be true about my mom that our business model is not a fit for her. She's not particularly coachable so even working her through it all would probably not happen.

 

Good lesson there - know when to let go!

 

Other People’s Opinions don’t pay your bills. Do you seek other people’s opinions about everything, or other things in your life?

 

First, not everyone is going to tell you yes, and you may hear a few no's before you get to some yeses. If you know this going in, and are prepared for it, then you will be expecting to hear no from some who you are hoping will join you.

 

Can you prepare for that now? Can you handle it if and when they say no?

 

Here is one thing I assure you – if you will stick with your network marketing business; develop your business skills and keep following up with those who you have talked to previously, many of those will come back and say YES at a later time. That is my story. I said no WAY before I said yes. Nothing had changed in the business, products, compensation plan, etc, when I decided to say yes. What had changed was ME. I was now ready.

 

Remember, other people can only affect you if YOU allow them to. Their opinion does not reflect on you, your company and products, or your decision, It's simply a reflection of them, and where they are in their life right now. And, if someone happens to be mean or nasty about it, then that speaks a bit to character and their own insecurities, in my opinion.

 

Here is something to say when someone begins to offer their opinion about what you are doing without having seen the business overview.

 

"You can't really have an opinion about what I am doing if you haven't even seen what it is. If you would like to look it over and then give me an educated opinion, I would love to have that conversation."

 

What can someone say back to that, really?

 

 

Don’t assume everyone is negative on MLM.

 

Leslie Zann, Donnie Walker and many other top professionals had no negative blueprint, and were fascinated with the business model. Robert Kiyosaki is a huge fan and endorses it.

 

Me, Margie Aliprandi, Mark Yarnell and others; we had some preconceived ideas about it. We had to overcome this in order to move forward.

 

So, you must decide for yourself what matters most - as Mark Yarnell said to me -

 

“I think the real sacrifice is you’re willing to trade impression management, which is stupid anyway and impossible to generate.  You’re trading impression management for the right to provide your family with a lifestyle they deserve. It’s amazing the number of people whose lives are horrible, by their own admission, their own description, who will not do what I’m doing because they want to be able to manage the impressions that other people have of them in the community. One thing I’ve learned, the money you make the more stature you’ve got in the community.  But a lot of people don’t want to do our industry just because they’re so afraid what people think of ‘em. 

 

 

So, enough said there!

 

Good luck!

 

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